Compete and Compare to WIN
Welcome to an Olympian’s Perspective on…
How to use COMPARISON & COMPETITION to make you BETTER… rather than letting it throw you into a negative downwards spiral.
One of the parallel trends that I’ve had to work through in both sport and my new life as an entrepreneur is that- there are other people in the world doing the same things as me! (I know, mind blowing, right?). In sport, it was expected and therefore I reacted to comparison and competition in such a knee-jerk reaction that I barely recognized that I was doing it. In business- in entrepreneurship- I have to admit, that at first, I reacted quite differently.
It is ingrained in the very existence of sport, for there to be a field of competitors participating in the same sport as you and therefore, fundamentally doing the same things as you. Soccer players, tennis players, golfers, figure skaters- you name it- all need to have the same fundamental skills, rules to their game and norms. There needs to be common ground in order for there to be enough athletes in the sport and fans to follow the sport. Comparison and competition are therefore a guarantee. And because it’s a guarantee, elite athletes find a way to make these two contributing factors a piece of the puzzle that works for us.
We purposely learn from other athletes who do something better than us; we train in purposeful ways to become better than our competition; we recognize ways that our strengths set us up to be different (better) than our competitors and we use our competitors to point out areas where our weaknesses may hold us back. Comparison and competition are tools in our toolbox, used to help us evolve into the absolute best athlete (and/or team) imaginable.
But as I started out on the entrepreneur journey (and let’s be honest, the “real-world/non-athlete” journey), I began to notice that this wasn’t a trend that was utilized by everyone; and I quickly began to fall victim to the same (anti-helpful) traps that snag a large majority of people. I found myself shrinking back into myself whenever I talked to other professionals in the same field as me; I applauded everyone else’s efforts while criticizing my own; I asked myself “who am I to think that I am worthy and capable of succeeding at this dream of mine?”, when so many others have so much more to offer...
In this world, more times than not, comparison and competition are weapons that we use to tear ourselves apart, to steal our confidence and to shake our foundational belief in ourselves and what we offer to this world. Too often, when we see others doing what we ourselves do, we question if we are doing it well enough compared to them. If we see others doing the same things as us, but in a different way or with more success, it makes us question if we are good enough or “have what it takes” to also be successful. Comparison and competition often tend halt our progress. They make us nervous about what we offer. They steal the energy and time that we could be putting into the process of developing our own craft, and instead, we put that same energy and time into question whether we even have a right or a reason to try to continue.
Comparison and competition are often said to be the thief of progress, joy and confidence. Seeing others do what you do (and in some cases, do it “better” than you) can be a vulnerable and uncomfortable place to be. But as someone who has stood on both sides of the fence; someone who knows the journey that is necessary to transform this experience from a negative into a positive, I’d love to share with you the key points that I (sometimes more often than others) remind myself of:
1) Take a deep breath and tell the voices in your head to “pump the brakes”. It’s so easy for us to get caught up in our emotions (fear, anxiety, panic, doubt, sadness, etc) and we can begin to downwards spiral into the pits of our nasty, negative imaginations. So, when you start to hear these voices of “you’re not good enough”, take a deep breath and press PAUSE.
2) Take your ego out of the equation. Your ego wants you to be THE best. It wants you to be perfect. But in reality, we are all just imperfect humans who are working on growing and evolving into what we are (limitlessly) capable of. I find it helpful to take my ego out of the equation and to remind myself that I don’t have to be THE best or perfect right now. I remind myself that my focus is on getting better; on learning how to improve my craft. And that’s it. Period. It can be very humbling and freeing.
3) Next, I ask myself these questions:
A) What does this person do better than me?
B) What do I want to learn from what this person does?
C) What can I take away from this experience that will make me better at what I do?
D) How can I mentally give this person a “high-5” and celebrate the work and effort that I know is behind their success?
At this point, I try to take what I’ve learned and turn it into action. Whenever I am working towards progress, I feel better about myself (maybe that’s just me?). But the point is, you conquer comparison and competition with other people by making them work towards making you better. It’s the ultimate trump card. It allows you to see every person who is seemingly doing better than you, and it helps you to learn and grow because of them. Even though they don’t know that their success is helping you, it is.
Ladies and gents, comparison and competition are not going away. You may as well learn to thrive with them rather than fighting them your whole life. It’s freeing. It’s joyful. And it makes you learn to be BETTER than what you already are- and if you know me, you know that I think that’s the ultimate win!
Let me know in the comments below, what has been helpful to YOU, as you’ve worked through these same issues?